Metro Detroit Birth Stories

Encore from Doula2Doula - Our 1st Birth Stories

• Exie Buehler

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I’ve loved sharing birth stories with you, and so many of you have been curious about mine. So for this episode, I’m bringing a special throwback from the earlier version of this podcast, when my co-host Ciana and I sat down to share our first birth stories. We were young, naive, and did the best we could with what we knew (or didn't know!). Join us as we laughingly reflect on the choices and mistakes we made - you might even learn something you can use today!

It was so much fun to record and to listen back to. I can’t wait for you to hear it—enjoy! 


I want to hear from you! Tell me your thoughts on this episode, or request to share your birth story in an upcoming episode.

Questions or Comments? Contact or Follow Exie


DISCLAIMER: The thoughts and opinions expressed on Metro Detroit Birth Stories are those of the participants. They do not represent any organization or profession. This show is meant to be informative, educational, and entertaining. Nothing in any episode (past, present, or future) should be construed as medical advice or take the place of your medical professional.
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

Welcome to Metro Detroit Birth Stories, where we celebrate the power, wisdom, and beauty of birth. One story at a time. I'm your host, Exie Buehler a birth and postpartum doula, childbirth educator, and maternal mental and emotional wellness coach. My passion for supporting birthing families began 20 years ago. And has only grown since then in this space, you'll hear real birth stories from Metro Detroit and beyond, along with insights from my work that might resonate with your own journey because every birth story matters and every journey deserves to be heard. Please note that this podcast is intended for entertainment and informational purposes only. The stories shared are from the perspective of the person sharing it and do not represent my thoughts, opinions, or views. I am a non-medical professional whose thoughts, opinions, and views are my own. So nothing said should be construed or understood as medical advice. Please discuss all of your concerns or questions with your pregnancy provider. Now, let's hear today's story. Hey, Ciana, how have you been? I've been good. How about you? Hanging in there? Hanging in there. We've got a lot of news going on this week and, and we'll all be back to work in about, nine days. That is so exciting. I'm so happy that your customers are gonna get to see you again and, yeah. They're excited too. I, it's, it's a, it's a lot to, to kind of take in, even though it's been, 12 weeks Since I was at work. it's a lot to think about, but I've been really concentrating through this whole time on, On birth, and I'm so glad that I had this time. It's a silver lining to be able to create this podcast with you. So, yeah, I'm really happy that we can record this episode together before life gets really complicated again for me. Yeah, the timing was perfect. This has been the highlight of this whole, pandemic for me is being able to, sit with you and learn from you. So it's, it's been a pleasure. Well, thank you. Thank you. So, yeah, so by the time that we get this episode up and edited and out, hopefully the whole state of Michigan will be back to work again and back to normal, and people will be able to go to the movie theater and wearing their masks, of course. Yeah. Social distancing, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, so much has changed. And, on this episode we're, we're talking about, two of our birth stories, our first births. They were, they were both medicalized births. And I think our listeners need to be aware of that before we begin. So, just be prepared. Yeah, absolutely. That you're going to hear about medicalized births. So for mine, we're gonna go all the way back to January, 1995. This was pre-internet pre-cell phone. The only book that anyone in my group of friends read was What to Expect When You Are Expecting. Oh goodness. Yeah. I actually still have my copy. I have mine too, actually. Do you? Yes. Oh my goodness. also back then in 1995. Formula samples we're still given out in little diaper bags at prenatal doctor's visits and baby fairs. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Totally different experience that I had. Yeah. Yeah. It's it does, it's, it, it was a, it's a weird thing to think about now, but that was the, that was the thing to do. And we were so excited to get our little bag of formula samples. Not that we planned on using'em, but hey, we got a bag. Right? What girl doesn't love a bag? Oh, yeah. And, let's see, in 1995, I chose to cloths, diaper, and exclusively breastfeed for the economic reasons, not because I was trying to do what was best for my baby or for the earth. So it was kind of the dark ages in comparison to moms who are having babies now and what their choices are. Yep. Yeah. So yeah, I had probably information overload. Oh yeah. During my pregnancy you had Google and all these different forums and blogs were all the rage. And I had a blog and I followed anything pregnancy, childbirth related that I possibly could. And I think I received breast pads and things like that and Oh, wow. And my little treat bag. So, yeah. So really that's quite a different experience. Yeah. The opposite. So in 1995, they were pushing formula and in what year was your daughter born? 2010. 2010. Yeah. He got breast pads and amongst other, you know, kind. Nursing aids. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So they were pushing breastfeeding more. Oh, wow. A lot changed. Well, back in 1995, my husband and I, we had just celebrated our second anniversary in December, and we were waiting for our first child to be born a boy. He was due on January 12, and I was two days past my due date. Feeling like I know right. Two days passed might as well have been two years. You know, it feels like a Yeah. Eternity. Exactly. And I felt like it would never happen. And I had, done what I thought was the right preparation at the time I had taken the hospital birth class and a good friend of mine who had had her daughter just a few months earlier attended with us. So that she could be by my side at, my son's birth. And we all got our little graduation certificates at the end of class, so to speak. And I, I remember that the class showed some birth videos, but the only part that really stands out is this small bit about water birth that I remember being quickly dismissed by the instructor. Like, it's not even an option, so it shouldn't be in the video. Don't think about that. And that's of course the one thing that stuck in my mind. Oh no. At that class, it was explained to us that the hospital's policy was that we had to meet with the anesthesiologist a full three weeks before our due date in order to sign the paperwork. If we even wanted to entertain the idea of getting an epidural. If we were inside of that three week period, or miss that mark, we were not considered a candidate. That's mind boggling to me. Xy. Yeah. That's crazy. It was a different time. And, and at that time, you know, I wasn't gonna miss that meeting because everybody, everybody was saying that the epidural was like the Cadillac option for having a baby, and it was the best choice that I could make. So I made sure that I was able to get to that meeting with an anesthesiologist. And I remember him going over this long page of risks and I remember him asking me. If I had any history previously with anesthesia. Now, by that time I had had several surgeries for various reasons in my life, and I had, as an adult, had a very, very bad experience recovering from general anesthesia in 1992. And when I relayed that to him, he told me that about 1% of the population can't wake up from general anesthesia. And that I was probably in that group. Oh, lovely. Just what a, an expectant, you know, within a few weeks of her due date, woman wants to hear Right. To grieve. Right, right. And, and, and he, but he, but he reassured me. He told me, he did tell me that I should avoid general anesthesia if at all possible in the future. And, even though the consent form for the epidural covered everything from a spinal headache to possible death, he told me that I shouldn't have any problems with it. So, of course I wanted to give my baby the very best. So I went ahead and I signed the paperwork. And he also explained at that time that the epidural, now I'm a candidate for it'cause I signed the paperwork, but I wouldn't be allowed to get it until I was five centimeters dilated. And that is a very important detail for our listeners to remember for my birth story. Oh, important and. In my opinion, crazy. Like I couldn't imagine. I couldn't imagine them telling me that I could not have an epidural until, five centimeters. So. Wow. That that was, in 2010, I feel like I said, I was reading blogs and Googling and doing all these things that, have not proven to have been helpful during my delivery. I'll just say that. and I never had to meet with the anesthesiologist beforehand. I, I was in the throes of contractions and then, and walked in this miracle person to give me some. my, my epidural that was supposed to just knock everything out for me so completely. I didn't know them beforehand. Didn't meet them beforehand. I did do similar paperwork. they always have to give you a rundown of every outcome, right? so I did have that. But yeah, nothing. Nothing like your experience. So I can't wait to hear more about it so far in advance. Well, and I, I, I think a lot of that too, taking that hospital birth class, I remember them teaching us, there are certain times in labor you're supposed to breathe a certain way. So the two things, my two takeaways from that class, well, three actually. This one I didn't share with you ahead of time. My girlfriend, one of her, who took the class with me, one of her first signs of pregnancy is, was that she would start straining the buttons on her top. And here I was towards, eight months pregnant, whatever. And my tops fit exactly the same. So she pulled me to the teacher one day, the instructor, and said. Is it possible for her to breastfeed?'cause her breasts haven't grown at all? Oh my gosh. That was like the one, that was one of the things I recall from that class. And yes, we will get to that later, but I, I did breastfeed, remember I said there were economical reasons for me to breastfeed.'cause breastfeeding is cheap. But, also, I took away the, the clip from the water birth in the video. And then I took away that there are certain ways that a woman is supposed to breathe at certain points in labor. Now you had a totally different class education experience, right? I did, yeah. I found a really great class in Ann Arbor and it was led by, a doula and. She went over all these different positions and you know, talked about more about the analogy of a woman's body and how we're giving birth and how we may want to move differently during the different stages of labor, and what things could possibly be a little bit more effective. I do have to say. When I was actually in labor, all of that went out the window. So like I didn't remember any of that. but we did, we saw some different videos and, and things of that nature. though it was really helpful, I think more for my husband, he was able to retain that information a little bit better than I was. But he also, all of that flew out of the window when I was actually actually in labor. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah. Did you do a lot of laboring at home? I did not actually, my, yeah, I, I had mentioned to you previously, I decided to go the castor oil. Oh, that's right. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we'll talk about that in a second.'cause that's an exciting story. So I did not do a lot of laboring. Okay. Well, uh. Let's get back to 1995 for a second. Okay. We'll let you, we'll let our listeners hold on that cast royal story for a minute. so for me, in 1995, it was two days past the evening of January 14th, and my husband and I splurged on a movie. So, we were very economically challenged. My, I had lost my job as a private nanny when I was. four months pregnant. And my husband had worked a seasonal job in lawn care until he got the job at Ford Motor Company. So, you know, this is winter time. So his job had been seasonal, so he'd already been out of work for a little bit. and I spent my entire pregnancy on the women Infant and Children program or the WIC program, which is basically food stamps. And we didn't have any family support or assistance, so. For us to go out to the, to the movies was really a treat. And those two movie tickets were a real stretch for us, but I had been worried about being past my due date. You know, it's like that date was marked on my calendar and it didn't happen. Yeah. And he wanted to make me laugh and tape me on a date. So we went to this movie and I could not seem to get comfortable in that movie theater seat. I did enjoy the movie. It was very funny. And as we exited the theater, I remember looking at my husband and saying, wouldn't it be hilarious if I went into Labor tonight? Because the movie that we had seen was called Junior and it starred, oh, I know that movie. It Star Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny DeVito and Emma Thompson. So our listeners can Google it if they don't know about the movie, and they'll see the irony there. but yeah, it was very funny and I laughed a ton and now I understand that probably the combination of the laughter and nightfall did help me increase oxytocin levels quite a bit that night. So, We got home. I had told, I had been told, in my class and by my friends, you'll know when you go into labor. So the contractions would be unmistakable. And I just felt really uncomfortable. I, I didn't really feel anything but a, a nagging back ache that made, sitting or laying down uncomfortable. And when we got home, he went to sleep and I strained up our apartment just in case our friends had to come over to look in on our cat. And I was feeling something, but it wasn't really anything that kept happening frequently enough that I thought I should sit down and kind of keep track of this. So I grabbed an index card. He didn't really know how to track contractions, but I felt like I should do something. And remember, this is 1995, so I had no computer, no internet, no cell phone with a contraction app. Oh no. I didn't know what I was doing. I just did what my instincts told me to do, and suddenly I felt like after a couple hours, I felt like I had to go to the bathroom. So I quietly walked over to the bathroom and I sat down, and then there was this big whoosh and I thought. Did I just pee and I looked in the toilet and I thought, that doesn't really look like pee. So I cleaned up and I called the doctor's answering service, and my goal was just to ask her this question. And so I explained what had transpired and she calmly said, okay, dear, I'll call the hos the doctor and tell him to meet you at the hospital. And I was like. The hospital, why do I have to go to the hospital? And she chuckled and she said, well, honey, your water just broke. And I was like, wow, that was so easy. If this, if this is how labor's going to be, it'll be a piece of cake. And then just like in the movies, I tiptoed into the bedroom and I shook my husband's shoulder and I whispered, honey, it's time. My water just broke. And then two contractions later, I was doubled over in pain. Yeah. Yep. And, yeah, the hospital was 10 minutes away, but it was, I swear, the longest car ride ever. And by the time that we got there, I expected them to tell me, A, that I could get that epidural and b, that I could get ready to push my baby out. And what they ended up telling me was that I was three centimeters dilated. Had a really long way to go and I couldn't get the epidural until I progressed to five. So then I demanded whatever drugs they did have that they could give me, right? So they gave me, over the course of the, of a number of hours, the number of hours that it took for me to get to five. I had gotten two shots of Stadol in my hip, and they made me feel drugged. And I remember feeling I was floating above my body, and then when the contraction came, I would crash down into my body again. My friend had arrived by that time and she and my husband were trying desperately to help me, but nothing seemed to work. So finally I was able to get the epidural, and then I proceeded to tell the anesthesiologist that he should not get paid because it wasn't working. Oh. And it never really did work for me. And I didn't move around like before the labor. I didn't move around a lot. Like you had mentioned, you were told all these different positions. I don't remember. Them telling me that I had those options at all once I got to the hospital. So the epidural, once I got it, of course I couldn't get outta the bed and it didn't matter'cause it didn't really work anyway. And now I think it was, my son was probably posterior and all of the pain that I had been experiencing was back labor, which epidurals are notorious for not really being able to help. Oh, I can totally relate to that. I had back labor with my daughter and I was so angry that I had gone through all of that.'cause the epidurals for me, it was kind of scary. I'm not a fan of needles anyway. And then you're having contractions and hugging a pillow and you know you have to go through the process to get it in. So I totally, know how that goes. So back to my castor wheel. Yes. This is such a great story when my labor started with my daughter. So I had a girlfriend that was, she's actually my neighbor. We became friends while we were, her and her husband were living next, in the, the apartment next to my husband and I. So she had, she was due just a few days before me, and she had went in and gotten her membranes stripped and then had her daughter like two days later. And so I thought, I'm, well, I'm gonna do that. So I go in, I get my membrane stripped. Nothing. Nothing's ha I don't feel a bit different at all. I was a little cranky afterwards, but that was it. Can I ask, were you past your due date at this point? I was not past my due date. Oh, you were? You were an overachiever. Oh, I was like, I told you, Google University let me Sure. To make lots of different decisions. True. So I was impatient and I was highly Googled and I just felt like I knew what I wanted. And I mentioned it. And my midwife was like, sure, I can, I can do it. And so, yeah, so I, I did all that. I did pretty much everything that you could think of to try to get labor to start. I ranted on Facebook about how the baby wasn't coming yet, and I ate eggplant Parmesan at a restaurant, near our house. So I did everything, all the old wives tales, all the old wives tales. And then I saw castor oil and I thought. I'm gonna try it. So I sent my husband and, late at night to a 24 hour CVS to pick up a bottle of castor oil and a jug of orange juice. Oh. And he came home. What, oh, go ahead. Was that combination recommended by your midwife, or did you find that on the internet? Oh, of course Google told me that. Yeah, my midwife had no part to that. I probably, I probably should have asked her first. Yeah. Let's, let's make sure our listeners don't make the same mistake. Cast castor oil probably should not be taken unless your, your provider is aware. Yes. ladies do not self castor oil for any reason. It was a bad choice. I will say I. Yes, I think I, I felt something because of a rumble in the digestive tract and not, not, from contractions. So I had the wrong kind of contractions. So I, I take it, and I wasn't sure of the dosing because Google could not agree on how many tablespoons or teaspoons I needed. So I just kind of was winging it, and I spent several hours on the toilet. My husband would come and check on me, and I would come out for a brief moment and then I would be right back on the toilet. So this went on for a while and finally I'm like, exhausted, probably dehydrated. I just was feeling, just drained and I go to lay down'cause I'm just, I can't take it anymore. And it was in the middle of the night by that point. As soon as I got comfortable, I felt a pop. I'm like, oh. So I, I jump up. I don't even know how I was able to move and I was like a ninja. I literally jumped out of the bed and went to the bathroom and, was trickling a little bit and I thought, oh my, and my husband was already up, but he, he saw my reaction and he. I go back in and he's changed Superman, it was from pajamas to fully dressed. So I would like to know if he remembers it that way. He does. He said he doesn't remember getting dressed at all. He just, the clothes are just. Um, so, so not only do birthing people have superpowers, but their partners do too, apparently. Yeah. I wish a superpower would've been to not bring me that castor oil that I asked for. So we get to the, we have to drive to the hospital now, since while we're driving, we had about. I'd say a 30 ish minute drive to the hospital because of the one that I chose to deliver at. So I'm starting to feel contractions, and I'm nervous. My whole body is tense. And we get there and they can't find, they do a swab for amniotic fluid. It was negative. So this nurse is ready to send me home. She's you don't feel like you're dilated really. And. I don't see any trace of amniotic fluid, so I'm feeling defeated and yeah, I still have to use the bathroom, so, oh my goodness. So Ev, do you remember how far dilated you were or did you not? I think I may have been a centimeter, maybe two. So just very, I was still very early, so at every time she left the room, I went to the bathroom because I still was having the, oh my goodness. Side effects of the castor oil. Finally, I kind of shifted my body. I felt another little trickle, and my husband waves the nurse down. She comes back in swabs again, and finally she sees the, fern imprint that she was looking for. That that showed that I had, that it was amniotic fluid. And so they get me into a room and right away the anesthesiologist came in and. And I signed the paperwork and he got to business, so, oh, so you got it very early then? I did. Definitely not five centimeters. Definitely not. Nope. Wow. Wow. Okay. Well that was, an exciting start to your labor. Way more thrilling than my wish of fluid on the toilet. I wish that I had that because then I would not have tried to take matters into my own. Oh, wow. Well, you know, having your. Your water break like I did, at the beginning of labor. It, it can, you know, it, it had set me up. Like I said, I thought I was gonna be ready to push my baby out. Uh, the way that it, it was not typical to what I had. Remembered being taught in birthing class, and because I had so little access to information I really did not even know that that was a possibility that your labor, that your water could break and you could still have many, many hours of labor to go. So I was sitting there in the hospital many hours in pain. I, I did have to have the oxygen. I, I know I had an oxygen mask on me. we also have it on video, so some of these things I are more a reminder that I, after I had watched the video But I didn't really understand why. I know, I didn't understand why I had to have oxygen on at the time. And I had, I was in the bed in pretty much just one position. I, I know now, like as a doula, we rotate and even the nurses, you know, with the epidural, it's gravity based and you should be rotating and changing positions multiple times and there's lots of positions that a birthing person can be put into, even staying in the bed. But I was never given those options. So. Finally, the doctor told me that I could push, but I didn't know how to effectively do this. And I know that I, I tried for like 40 minutes and it felt like hours and I had, my friend was singing to me because I had forgotten the tape player. Yes. I said tape there with the music that I wanted, and my husband was all gloved up because the doctor encouraged. The fathers to catch their babies or the partners to catch their babies. So he wasn't even at my side. He was down on the business end of things. And I remember a nurse yelling at me because I kept pushing myself up the bed to get away from the pain. I know that there was a nurse on I, or, well, my friend was on one side and the nurse was on the other side holding my legs way far apart with my knees up to my ears. And I remember the nurse who was holding my left leg stepped away and I started screaming, my leg, my leg. And I, I remember like, I can still feel the feeling of being abandoned when that physical support suddenly and unexpectedly was removed. Yeah. And at some point, knowing what I know now, my son's heart rate must have gone down. I don't really remember a lot, but he was born with the assistance of the ventus or the vacuum extractor. And I didn't realize until many years later that I was really very close to being taken to the OR for his birth. And I have a picture of myself holding him immediately following the birth. And I have this look on my face, like I didn't understand what happened. My baby was healthy and I was thrilled to have him in my arms and labor was over, and I was glad about that. But I honestly, I, I do remember feeling like it had all happened to someone else, and I think the fact that I got those narcotics was a contributing factor because I learned years. Later that I have a genetic condition that prevents things like heavy drugs from being metabolized well in my system. So they stay in my bloodstream a lot longer than normal. Oh, wow. And so, medications like Stadol are very bad for me, and, but I wouldn't get that diagnosis for many, many years after my second birth. So, you know, you just don't, you don't know these things. Right. And I di I didn't know. Yeah. Wow, I see that. I, I think, you know, I didn't have any medications like that other than the epidural, but I kind of wonder if sometimes that afterbirth fog is more common than, than we realize, because I remember kind of feeling the same way and, and support is so important as well. I had a really good, nurse. She was also. Studying to become a doula. So yeah, you had mentioned that on our last episode. Yeah. Yep. So she was really helpful, with kind of having me, I did some maneuvering around, but I was terrified. yeah, that the. Side effects of the castor oil. Were going to continue to haunt me. Oh, during, during delivery, so, oh, no. Yeah. So I definitely was not as relaxed as I could have been. And, my daughter, her heart rate started to drop and, and the monitors that were, strapped in my belly, they couldn't detect it anymore. So they had to do the monitor, you know, kind of like in her scalp, just to make sure that she was okay. And that just. Woke up, the mama bear in me. And I literally just like, I just pushed her out. I just, I was like, I wanted her out and I wanted to see, you know, see her. But I feel like throughout the whole labor and delivery, I was just looking at the end result. So by the time she was out, everything else just kind of felt like it didn't really happen to me. You know? Like I wasn't Like, I wasn't there and present for the whole thing. So, yeah, it, it's so funny how. Once you, once that baby is out, that's what your focus is on. You kind of just forget everything about what you've just experienced. Yeah. Yeah. And, and gratefully and I, I tell. The birthing people that I work with, frequently I try to remember to tell them that we do get this amnesia thing. You know, the perception of time Gets very skewed once you are deep in labor. And that's, that's a blessing. It's a, it's a, a great thing and if you can really become one with your baby during the labor process, then everything will progress. Well. I think. With medicalized birth, you have so much that's happening, you know, so much has to happen, right? Like the nurses have to be checking and you have the monitors on. And, and if like with you and with me, if the heart rate isn't being traced well by the external, then they wanna do an internal. And so that, whenever that happens, it kind of pulls you out of that space of being one. With the process. That it's so much harder to get back into it each time. But yeah, that the amnesia that happens once your baby is in your arms. It does really, it is a real thing. It's, and it's, it's a blessing. I think it's, it's a blessing that we have that, but of course we still have the recovery. Right, right. Yeah. And, and for me, my recovery was very painful and very difficult because I had to have the assistance of the vacuum. And nursing was extremely challenging for me, and I had no resources.'cause remember this is 1995, back in the dark ages, and I had very little support and I, I felt very isolated and I, I didn't know what I didn't know. Mm-hmm. But I knew that if I ever had another baby again, I was going to do things differently and I wasn't convinced that I would go through it again. Mm-hmm. Right. In those first couple of weeks. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. But, but yeah. And so two weeks after he was born, we had a baby shower scheduled and I was well enough and felt great and you know, enough to go. And the nursing was going well enough that I remember being able to nurse him during the baby shower. And we introduced him to all of our friends. and we only had one little kind of hiccup after that. And he, that was, he went on a little nursing strike when he was four weeks old. Mm-hmm. So that he just. Went through this little stint where he was refusing to nurse, and once we got through that, we really hit our stride and we bonded very well, and he, he nursed exclusively till he was about 16 months old. So it, it went very, very well after that. And then we had a surprise pregnancy in 1997 that resulted in the birth of our second son in the spring of 1998. And I did do things a little bit differently with that birth, and we'll talk about that in another episode. Upcoming. That's awesome. I actually, we are so on the same wavelength because. I also, you know, after everything was said and done, I had a, a surprise. My son was a complete surprise, so I can't wait to tell to tell that story, but I also had a painful recovery. You know, I. My, when I first was told that I could push, I was afraid to do so because, oh, the castor oil, yet again, castor oil comes back. So I would not relax and like bear down and, and push. Yeah. And you know, the, my midwife and the nurse, they were trying to get me, you know, like, you have to push. And I told them, I was like, I, I don't want to, you know, I'm afraid I took castor oil. Like I finally just told them and they looked, oh, no. But you know, that's the thing is all things come out in the open eventually. Yes. Yeah. Yep. I had to tell on myself and I'm happy that I did because they offered to bring me a mirror. Oh, that really helped. Once I could see what I was doing and not doing right then that helped me to, you know, and then when my daughter needed, the internal, heart rate monitor, that kind of just really. Caused me to kind of push her out. But in doing so, I ended up fracturing my tailbone. So that in addition to just the, general healing that that needs to take place, it was very painful. Yeah. Wow. Wow. And so what do they do for a fractured tailbone?'cause I know our listeners are probably wondering really nothing, you just let it heal. Mm-hmm. so I. Just tried to rest as much as I could. And then I'm trying to nurse, I, the lactation consultant came in, initially she came in one time and helped me get my daughter latched and everything, but that was very painful. It felt like her latch wasn't right. She was making a clicking noise mm-hmm. As I was nursing her. And, I was determined to do so. My mother nursed myself and my siblings and it wasn't anything that I. I would not have been told like, no, this is not going to work. I was going to make, make it work in any way that I possibly could. but she had issues with latching and I had issues with, healing, and she was, rubbing me in the wrong way. And I had like, just flats. I had to do some healing of, of my, nipples and everything, which was very painful. And then trying to heal from a tailbone, mm-hmm. Injury. I felt like I was down for a long time. At two weeks postpartum, I wouldn't have been able to show her to anyone, Yeah. I was still in the bed looking crazy, so, Aw. I got better around like the four week mark is when things really started to take a turn, I would say. Yeah. Yeah. So both of our kids are healthy. They're, did you successfully breastfeed her? I did. Yeah. For how long? So I exclusively breasted her for six months. I went back to work when she was nine weeks old. So I was up, up working and pumping mama. Oh, wow. And then she had a dairy allergy. Oh. So that made it really difficult. I, dairy is sneaky. It's in a lot of things that you wouldn't even consider. So it was causing her to have. like eczema and some diaper rashes and I just could not get it out of my diet. I kept trying, kept trying. So eventually I ended up later on, I think she was probably around like eight months or so, and I had to switch her over to a soy formula. Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah, breastfeeding can be a whole separate episode, couldn't it? Yep, it could. Yep. We might, we might have to do that. Yeah, so I think the moral, Of our stories is a lot changes in medicine. 15 years and, and a lot changed with policy. Um, our listeners will find out in a, when we talk about our second birth, that a lot changes in just a matter of a couple years. Even. Yep. It sure does. but, and even though I had a friend at my, my birth, helping me kind of. She wasn't a doula by training, but she was, additional support. I think both of us agree, right? That having a professional trained doula at our birth would've probably really helped and maybe not help change some of the options that were available to us at the time. You know, 1995. I didn't have the same options that you had, but maybe to just. For me helped me to not have that feeling of abandonment. When the nurse had to turn around and take care of nurse duties. Yep. And, and for you, you had mentioned in our past episode that the nurse that was giving you that counter pressure, she left midstream. She did, yeah. Shift change and, and she was gone. And I, I can totally relate to that feeling of a loss, you know, for of a support person. My husband tried to kind of fill her shoes, but it's different when there's someone that is trained to support in that way. In, you know, he did the best that he could, but he didn't know exactly where to apply the pressure and how to apply it. And, you know, no fault of his own, but. Two things that I would change about my birth for sure would be, obviously, one, don't do castor oil without, without your medical provider telling you to, and I would definitely have had a doula. I just think even just the, the presence alone, the emotional support that, that calming and soothing, would've helped me tremendously. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I think for both of us, having a, a birth doula would've been beneficial and probably a postpartum or after birth doula as well. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, for sure. Well, I am just, your birth story was very entertaining. Thank you for sharing it. Oh, you're welcome. Birth has a lot of, a lot of fun things that happen to it, and years later we can tell the story and, and smile and hopefully our listeners have learned something about birth back in the dark ages. Mm-hmm. When I had my son and, maybe, Question, some questions or some things that they might consider. now having the internet available you said was almost detrimental to you? Oh, absolutely. Yeah. There's so much out there and you have to really be careful about what you're reading. Just the internet told me all these old wives, methods right? To try to, to try to induce labor. Also there was a lot of, I developed a lot of fear based off of, scenarios that could happen mm-hmm. That actually are very uncommon. Mm-hmm. And most, healthy women and, and in most labor and delivery. so that was a little bit difficult. for me. I was terrified going into it because I had. The wrong information, the wrong type of information. Yeah. So I definitely would, yeah. Yeah. I caution women against, against Google University. It's great for a lot of things, but you know, you may get a little, you may get things that are not. Likely to happen and things that may kind of have you hold back mm-hmm. When you're in that moment of bringing your baby. So, wow. So this, this is a lot, this is a lot for our, our, our second full length episode. yeah, I hope everybody enjoyed it. And, in our next episode, we're going to be talking about induction because our second babies. We're both induced, but yep. Fair. We figured out that our children, our first and second children, there's 15 years in between my first and your first and my second and your second. So, the way that inductions. Are done now even Oh yeah. Is different than the way that they were done when you had yours. Yep. And much different than when I had mine, so. Mm-hmm. I can't wait to tell these stories. Yeah. Yeah. So it's fun being able to walk, down memory lane. It's, it's, and, and. The fact too, to remember that we only know what we know at the time and we make the best decisions that we can with the information that we have available. Absolutely. So if there's nothing else that our listeners take away, I hope that they do use Google to find good quality childbirth education. Mm-hmm. And hopefully a doula in their area, and if not in their area, then one virtually mm-hmm. Can support them and give them some emotional support and information. Direct them to the proper information at the time. And, also maybe even look into after birth. Doula. Yes. Someone who can come in and help, I would highly recommend, I would highly recommend that I hope that, that every woman gets the support that she needs during, one of the most special times. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much alright, bye.

Exie:

Thank you for spending time with me today on Metro Detroit Birth Stories. If you loved this episode, let me know. Leave a review, share it with a friend, and come connect with me on Instagram@metrodetroitbirthsupport and if you have a birth story to share, I would love to hear it. Please take a moment to reach out to me, whether it was six months ago or 60 years ago. Your story could be the inspiration for someone who hears it to gain the confidence they need as they embark on their own birth journey. My email is in the show notes. This podcast is produced and funded by me, and I really appreciate you listening. Until next time, take care. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to others, and remember, every birth story deserves to be told. The music you hear on Metro Detroit Birth Stories has been provided by Purple Planet Music, written and performed by Chris Martyn and Geoff Harvey.

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Exie Buehler

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