A Redemptive Birth - From "Almost" to "Empowering"

In this inspiring inaugural episode of Metro Detroit Birth Stories, Kristi shares her journey through two very different births—one that was almost what she hoped for, and one that was her dream, redemptive birth experience.

Despite facing similar medical complications during her second pregnancy, Kristi was able to create a supportive care team, advocate for herself, and achieve a beautiful, empowering birth beyond what she even thought was possible. Along the way, she shares how crucial community, education, and trusted providers were in shaping her journey.

✨ Mentioned in this episode:

• Cynthia Gabriel, author of The Natural Hospital Birth and founder of Nest and Nurture
• Aimee Tuck, co-founder of Rise Wellness Collaborative and supporter of new moms
• Mel Sulaver, dietician (@NutritionByMel on Instagram)
• Dr. Rubina Tahir at The Joint Chiropractic (support for breech positioning and optimal fetal alignment)
• Sam Sharpe, midwife for Kristi's prenatal care
• Probility PT, Trinity Health, for Pelvic Floor Therapy
• Safe Infant Sleep by Dr. James McKenna
• Sweet Sleep by La Leche League International

📸 Don't miss the beautiful birth photos Kristi shared in the video version of this episode!

• Resources, community, advocacy, and determination made all the difference in Kristi's journey—and her story will leave you feeling inspired and empowered.

🎧Listen to the podcast episodes mentioned: 

Ep. 5 Our 2nd Babies' Induction Stories 

Tranquil Touch Birth & Women's Wellness
Birth support services helping clients feel supported, cared for and confident about birth.

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I want to hear from you! Tell me your thoughts on this episode, or request to share your birth story in an upcoming episode.

Questions or Comments? Contact or Follow Exie

• YouTube: Tranquil Touch Birth & Women's Wellness channel
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DISCLAIMER: The thoughts and opinions expressed on Metro Detroit Birth Stories are those of the participants. They do not represent any organization or profession. This show is meant to be informative, educational, and entertaining. Nothing in any episode (past, present, or future) should be construed as medical advice or take the place of your medical professional.
Music: https://www.purple-planet.com

Transcript

Exie: 0:00

Welcome to Metro Detroit Birth Stories, where we celebrate the power, wisdom, and beauty of birth. One story at a time. I'm your host, Exie Buehler a birth and postpartum doula, childbirth educator, and maternal mental and emotional wellness coach. My passion for supporting birthing families began 20 years ago. And has only grown since then in this space, you'll hear real birth stories from Metro Detroit and beyond, along with insights from my work that might resonate with your own journey because every birth story matters and every journey deserves to be heard. Please note that this podcast is intended for entertainment and informational purposes only. The stories shared are from the perspective of the person sharing it and do not represent my thoughts, opinions, or views. I am a non-medical professional whose thoughts, opinions, and views are my own. So nothing said should be construed or understood as medical advice. Please discuss all of your concerns or questions with your pregnancy provider. Now, let's hear today's story. Today on Metro Detroit Birth Stories, we have Kristi Hodson who's going to share her births. Kristi, I'm so excited to have you here today. When you reached out to share your birth story, I literally could feel the joy in your words, and I am so honored to have you share this experience with us, both of your experiences, and to have this opportunity to actually get to talk to you about it. So before we begin, can you give us a brief introduction to who you are?

Kristi Hodson: 1:46

Sure. Thank you for having me here. I think it is so amazing and powerful to be able to share birth stories, and I jumped at the chance to share it with your listeners. My name is Kristi Hodson. I am a mother of two. I'm 41. I live in southeast Michigan in the Ann Arbor, Canton area. And by profession, I'm a, I'm a business owner. I own Artistic Kitchens, which is a small family owned kitchen and bath design business. So it's a little bit about me.

Exie: 2:15

Wonderful. And you've had two births and they've been very, very different. So in one word, what would you use to describe your first birth?

Kristi Hodson: 2:28

Oh, it's so hard. So the, the word that I used to describe that one is, it's almost what I wanted. I had had this picture in my mind of this beautiful water birth in a tub. I, I saw this a video during my childbirth class of this beautiful water birth. And like ever since then, I was like, I was hooked. I wanted that and I almost got it, but I didn't the first time around.

Exie: 2:53

Wow, what a great word to describe that. And, and we're gonna learn why it almost happened.

Kristi Hodson: 3:01

Yes.

Exie: 3:02

So let's, let's go ahead and start with that story of your son Graham. Right. Is, is that

Kristi Hodson: 3:06

Yeah.

Exie: 3:07

say his name?

Kristi Hodson: 3:08

Perfect. Yeah. Sounds good. It's hard because, you know, there are so many people with traumatic birth. I didn't have a traumatic birth, but it wasn't what I wanted. And knowing what I know now and having experienced birth twice, I wish I could go back and talk to, you know, first time mom, me, and do things a little differently, you know? With that, with that birth, I had gestational diabetes and I'm advanced maternal age, I'm 41. And the they were watching me very, very closely. I, I chose midwifery care over OB care because I wanted a very. Natural childbirth. I went to the childbirth class that was offered at Nest and Nurture. And again, in 2021 it was like held outside, six feet apart.

Exie: 3:53

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 3:53

we learned about what natural birth could look like and what support of a doula looks like. I remember our, our teacher was Cynthia Gabriel. She wrote the book Natural Hospital Birth, and she was fantastic. But she showed us a video in class and that was the first time I'd ever seen like a real birth, like not a, not a TV birth, right? Like that's the first time I'd ever seen it was in my birth class when I'm pregnant, about to give birth myself. And it was this water birth and this woman looked so like, powerful and it wasn't anything like you see in the movies where there's like, you know, water breaks screaming, like it was just very peaceful and that really what I wanted. I was like, I wanna give birth in the tub and I want it to be peaceful. And no medications, no interventions, like spontaneous labor. And I didn't get that spoiler alert. So with the gestational diabetes watching me closely, I was getting these like NST tests and biophysical profile tests and like tons of visits to U of M hospital. I was working with the midwives at U of M Hospital and, you know, they're like, everything's good every time we checked him. Everything's good with baby, everything's good with baby. And then, you know, it got, you know, toward my due date and even beyond my due date it was four days past 40 weeks, which is such an arbitrary number. But, they said, okay, like the, the fluid's getting lower and lower and lower and lower we're on the cusp of not having enough amniotic fluid. And then with gestational diabetes, my blood sugars had returned to normal, like I could eat carbs without getting spikes. And they they did a consult and said, you know, there's concerns about the placenta. There's a lot of things adding up here, right? My, my age, the gestational diabetes and the blood sugar returning to normal, there's the amniotic fluid. Like, we really think that induction is the best choice here. So I was like really sad. I kind of like mourned the idea of just this cool, spontaneous going into labor. And I went home, like my head was spinning. Packed my bags. I called my partner and my mom, they were my two support people at the hospital. And we went in that evening and the induction was like a slow process. It just is, right? I was my cervix was really ready and you know, very soft. Like, I think I was like only at, you know, a fingertip or something. But we started with a Foley balloon and it got me to whatever, it was, like four centimeters by the next morning. And, but labor didn't really start, I didn't have any contractions. Nothing was happening. So we're trying like, you know, nipple simulation and we're trying walking. And you know, I walked to Angelo's, the restaurant by U of M Hospital. We like had a little meal there, walked back like we nothing was happening. And by 3:00 PM the midwife that was on staff said, you know, I really think you should consider Pitocin. And that was just like, you know, a swear word in my mind. Like, no, I, I, I never wanted this, like, this isn't what I had pictured. But I was also a scared first time mom. And so I said yes and I didn't I wasn't fully prepared with like, okay, well what are the questions that I should ask? Or like, what happens if we wait a little bit longer? But in the moment you're like, well, I have to keep my baby alive, so I have to say yes to Pitocin.

Exie: 7:25

Right.

Kristi Hodson: 7:26

That's one thing I would do differently if I could go back and tell that first time mom that I was, so we started,

Exie: 7:33

you

Kristi Hodson: 7:33

I would say maybe hold off on the Pitocin a little bit.

Exie: 7:36

Okay.

Kristi Hodson: 7:36

Yeah.

Exie: 7:37

Thank you for clarifying that.'cause I

Kristi Hodson: 7:38

Yes.

Exie: 7:39

if you

Kristi Hodson: 7:40

Sorry.

Exie: 7:40

would advocate differently for yourself or you would flat out decline it. And if anybody who's listened to the the previous iteration of this podcast, Doula2Doula, my podcast co-host Ciana, she had them turn the Pitocin off and left the hospital. And so I didn't know if that's,

Kristi Hodson: 7:58

I love her already.

Exie: 8:00

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 8:01

I love her already.

Exie: 8:02

to go back and listen to her her birth story. It's quite interesting. I'll, I'll put the episode number into this podcast.

Kristi Hodson: 8:09

Oh, that's, that is so wonderful. Yeah. So like, I I agreed to it, right? Like you're, you're in that moment and you're like, I wanna make sure my baby's safe. I've worked so hard. It took us so long to get pregnant. We literally had an IVF consult and had plans to start IVF'cause we've been trying, trying to get pregnant with no luck and got pregnant that cycle that we, right before we started, I, so you, you know, this long journey to get there. You know, this. I can't lose him now, so I have to say yes to person. That was where I was. So the nurse comes in and you know, starts an IV line and I said, well, when will I be able to take this off? And, you know, like, move around. And she said, well, you won't, you'll, you'll have this until the baby's born. And I started crying and I said, I'm gonna be hooked up to all these wires and lines. And like, what about this beautiful tub birth that I wanted? And that nurse said to me, everybody comes in here with all these dreams of what they want and you, you just, it's just not realistic. You're not gonna get what you want. And I just cried. I like, it was, it was like, I was so close and then it just like got, like the carpet got ripped over from under me, you know? And she left the room. And I remember telling Dave, my partner, I can't have this nurse, my body's not gonna work with her. Like, I don't trust her like that. This isn't gonna work. Can you please advocate for me to get a different nurse? And you know, that wasn't happening. And so I told my mom, like, get me a different nurse. I gotta have a different nurse. She doesn't understand what I want. She's not gonna work with me. I need a different nurse.

Exie: 9:50

that's great that you, that you said that.

Kristi Hodson: 9:54

but neither of them did it. So I did it myself. And actually that was the better thing, right? So when the midwife came in the room, I was like, you know, I think I'm having a little bit of trouble with this nurse. I don't, I'm worried about my body responding when, you know, it feels like she's not on board with my birth plan that I want. Like, would, would it be okay if we try somebody else and I got to advocate for myself? And there's power in being the person that advocates rather than sending someone else to go do the errand that's dirty work, right? So I. Yeah, I, I asked her and we were able to get a different nurse and this second nurse that, that actually ended up being there through the birth. She had been a doula for 10 years in California, and she treated me a little bit differently and she understood like what I wanted and what I was trying to achieve, and she was there to support that. And so, you know, I'm, I'm hooked up to the Pitocin still. We kept it at a very, very low level. I think the highest level that it got to was like a six out of, I don't know, I think it's, what is it, 30 or something. So,

Exie: 11:01

think it's 20 or 25 is the maximum.

Kristi Hodson: 11:05

yeah, so six is pretty low on that scale.

Exie: 11:08

it

Kristi Hodson: 11:08

And you know, that was the max. We started that out very low, and then contractions got going and I got into the tub and got to labor in the tub. I. And like the contractions were pretty powerful. And knowing what I know now of experiencing contractions on Pitocin and without like,

Exie: 11:25

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 11:26

holy cow, it's like, it's like water and Mountain Dew or something, you know, there's this, it's so much more like powerful and it's just not enjoyable to have contractions on Pitocin. I definitely wanted to avoid you know, an epidural and wanted to have freedom of movement and you know, low intervention. But I was like, wow, I can see why, I can see why people ask for it, you know? And the, the very best pain relief that I found, obviously the water was amazing.

Exie: 12:01

Yep.

Kristi Hodson: 12:02

but my partner started telling me stories. He just made up stories on the spot and he. And, and it was a, a skill that we learned in, in the birth class of like, you know, distracting your brain and giving your brain something to focus on and visualize. And it was something that I had practiced whenever, whenever I got a blood draw and I, I got a million blood draws with with, with everything and, and involved. But I would like, take myself to a really calm place, like to a forest and I could smell like the pine needles and listen to the breeze. Like he was practicing visualization, like all through this pregnancy. And I didn't know he had that skillset in him to like, just take me on this cool journey somewhere. So he talked about like a house that we would build and he talked about vacations that we would take with our baby. And he talked about you know, our dog and our baby and the relationship that they would develop. And it was just so cool the way that it just got me through really intense contractions on Pitocin. So it got pretty pretty intense. And at one point I heard the midwife say to somebody else in the room, I'm assuming the nurse, well, she's not even in active labor yet because she's still talking.'cause every time I would have a contraction, I'd be like, okay, Dave, tell me another story. And I heard her say that'cause like words like, yeah, I might look like I'm, you know, like not paying attention'cause my eyes are closed and I'm really focusing. But words are still like feeding into the brain. I'm still understanding what's going on. And I looked at David and said, I can't do this for 12 more hours. Like I'm not even in active labor yet. And it was so disheartening because what I was feeling in my body was really intense and it felt like birth could be close like this, this baby's gonna come out soon. But hearing that just took me. Down and I was like, oh, I, I can't do this for 12 more hours. Well now I know I was in transition when those words were said. I was in transition.

Exie: 14:06

Oh my

Kristi Hodson: 14:06

Yeah. So yeah, I was definitely an active labor. But I didn't know that then.'cause I didn't know what labor felt like. I didn't know. And so I said, well I would like to try nitrous to, you know, like just to help me keep going and like keep this that was working and need a little bit of pain relief. And so the nurse, the midwife said, oh, well I have to go check on the policy. And

Exie: 14:31

Yeah,

Kristi Hodson: 14:32

okay,

Exie: 14:33

they were still not sure about the aerosolization involved

Kristi Hodson: 14:38

yes,

Exie: 14:39

Yeah, it was

Kristi Hodson: 14:40

yes, Yes.

Exie: 14:41

It

Kristi Hodson: 14:41

It was, it was a weird time. And so eventually she came back and she's like, well, you can do nitrous, but you can't be in the top.

Exie: 14:51

Oh,

Kristi Hodson: 14:51

And so that moment was just like I was shattered.'cause I was like, okay, here I am. I'm not even an active labor. Yes, I was.

Exie: 15:00

Okay.

Kristi Hodson: 15:01

even an active labor. I don't think I can sit here and do what I'm doing right now for 12 more hours. I don't know why I'm 12 hours stuck in my brain, but I was like, oh, well it's gonna be 12 hours before I've given birth to this baby if I'm not in active labor yet. So I was like, I don't, I just don't think I can do it. And so I had to like, at that moment, kinda give up this beautiful dream of this peaceful tub birth with no interventions and get out of the tub and get onto the bed and sign consent forms for nitrous.

Exie: 15:32

Yeah. And they still had you hooked up to Pitocin at this point?

Kristi Hodson: 15:35

Right around there it's fuzzy.'cause I, again, I was in transition.

Exie: 15:38

Sure.

Kristi Hodson: 15:39

I think it was right around when I, it was before I got outta the tub. It was before I got the tub. I said, I'd like to turn that Pitocin off. My body is doing this. So we turned it off. I mean, I still had a little, like, poured in my arm or whatever, but I wasn't receiving Pitocin actively. And so I got into the bed, signed the consent forms. Why would you ever have somebody like in transition signing consent forms? Like, blows my mind. But I did. And they, you know, brought it and it was really good relief and I could just take it as I needed it. Like I could, you know, like focus through a contraction. And like, okay, well let's check you. And I was, I was at a nine or a 10. Like, I done the hard work. I just wasn't in the place that I wanted to be. I was on the bed and not in the tub. And so I kind of took a moment and I almost like, almost took a nap. I would say. I took a nap except for I wasn't really asleep. I was just kind of like zoned and like focusing and, you know, like. Getting finally there. And then my body took over and gave me the urge to push and I pushed out this beautiful baby boy. I gave birth on my side and had quite a bit of tearing. I had a second degree tear. And so you know, got stitched up with like, with the kelp of the nitrous and like this beautiful little boy on my chest. And I remember thinking like, you know, this is the best night of my life.

Exie: 17:10

Yeah,

Kristi Hodson: 17:12

Because the every like, the, the emotions of the like, wow, we're finally here. We did this. He's here, he is real, he is healthy.

Exie: 17:19

yeah

Kristi Hodson: 17:19

and it wasn't until like after like a few days after like when you're really in that hormone surge and you start thinking about it, that it, like, it just felt really, you know, disappointing.'cause I was almost there. I almost got exactly the birth that I wanted. But I was still very thankful. For this healthy baby and for, you know, I didn't go to the top end of the complications and the interventions, but definitely more than I wanted. So that kind of sets up the story for the birth that I just experienced in November.

Exie: 17:53

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 17:53

And you know, through my prenatal care, like this was still my goal. Like I wanna have a birth in the tub and,

Exie: 18:00

Right, right.

Kristi Hodson: 18:02

that's what I want. That's what I wanted the first time. And the complication this time around, I had gestational gestational diabetes again, but it started much earlier at like 10 weeks. And I wasn't diabetic before going in, like between pregnancies. Blood sugar was perfect. Get pregnant. My body likes to be a di diabetic when I'm pregnant. So 10 weeks is when I had to, to start managing gestational diabetes. And it was also a lot more intense this time around. So I,

Exie: 18:30

diabetes was more intense.

Kristi Hodson: 18:31

diabetes was, yeah. So it was it was harder to manage. So a meal that I could eat in my first pregnancy would spike me too high in my second pregnancy. I was just more sensitive. And so I knew this early on and I, I had been toying with the idea of a home birth because I think home birth is so cool, but, you know, with all the fear that's, that's out there and being like advanced age and gestational diabetes and, oh, the other part that I, I'm sorry. I didn't realize, I, I didn't put into the, the first birth was I lost a lot of blood. I lost about 700 milliliters of blood.

Exie: 19:08

Oh,

Kristi Hodson: 19:09

So, yeah. So like, just under like a,

Exie: 19:14

did they have

Kristi Hodson: 19:14

what's that?

Exie: 19:15

treatment for you with that? Good.

Kristi Hodson: 19:17

No, but it was, it was a concerning amount and it took me a long time to replenish that.

Exie: 19:24

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 19:25

I did pass like really big blood clots, like a coup like the day after, a couple days after. So there was also that there was too many elements

Exie: 19:33

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 19:34

to make my partner feel comfortable with us doing this at home.

Exie: 19:38

Sure.

Kristi Hodson: 19:38

probably would've like gone for that, but we decided on hospital birth because the blood loss, the gestational diabetes, all the factors

Exie: 19:50

example of weighing out, taking a risk benefit analysis of your unique circumstances. So, you know, that's a, that's a beautiful example of doing that.

Kristi Hodson: 20:01

and it's hard. You, you both have to be on the same page,

Exie: 20:04

Yes, this is

Kristi Hodson: 20:05

you know,

Exie: 20:05

is very true.

Kristi Hodson: 20:06

you know, and he's sitting there thinking like, I saw you lose a lot of blood and I don't wanna be a single dad without you. And I'm sitting there thinking everything's gonna be fine. It's gonna be better this time. You know?

Exie: 20:16

Yeah

Kristi Hodson: 20:16

it.

Exie: 20:17

happens quite a bit because partners oftentimes, even, even one as amazing as yours was they oftentimes don't take in the same information because they're not reading all the books and watching all the videos. And, you know, they're, they're limited in the amount that they are exposed to either by choice or just by circumstance. And so a lot of times when those things happen, they have no clue why it's happening or how severe it is, or how much they need to worry. So yeah. It sounds, sounds like he had a totally normal reaction.

Kristi Hodson: 20:52

Yeah. And I also think that, you know, when you're pregnant and you're so excited, like you just get amped up, like hearing about birth, right? Like I loved, I listened to the audio book of Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth, and just all the birth stories in there are just so exciting to hear. And that's part of why I wanted to share mine because like, you need to hear the really good ones.

Exie: 21:14

Yes.

Kristi Hodson: 21:15

ones all the time because that happens to your coworker and your sister, and your sister-in-law, and your friend and your neighbor. Like those ones happen all the time. Everybody has a traumatic birth story, but like, you wanna hear the ones that went really well too.

Exie: 21:27

Exactly. Exactly.

Kristi Hodson: 21:30

Yeah, yeah. So anyway, we decided on, you know, hospital birth and the, the challenge of the blood sugar was the, the care at U of M is you either choose OB care

Exie: 21:43

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 21:44

and that's like a, a little bit more medical

Exie: 21:46

Uhhuh.

Kristi Hodson: 21:47

type of birth, or you choose the midwife care and there's more flexibility and there's, it's just a different model of care. And I really wanted the midwife model of care. Another difference between the two is you can give birth in the tub with the midwives, you cannot, you can labor in the tub with the obs, but you can't give birth in the tub with the obs. And like with this beautiful vision of this tub birth, I'm like, I've just gotta do this.

Exie: 22:11

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 22:12

However, if you need insulin to manage gestational diabetes, it risks you out of midwifery care at U of M. And so I had 30 weeks that I had to do this with diet and exercise and everything else, like everything I could do to perfectly manage my blood sugar,

Exie: 22:31

yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 22:32

if I needed insulin, it would, again, it would be that almost birth, and it would like just rip out like at the last second, this birth that I really wanted. So,

Exie: 22:41

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 22:41

It was hard managing for 30 weeks and four days or 30 ish weeks.

Exie: 22:48

Mom of a toddler right now, and so I remember when I had a toddler and I was pregnant, and it was like just whatever he left behind was what I was snacking on.

Kristi Hodson: 23:00

yes,

Exie: 23:00

meal. So I can't even imagine having to intentionally make sure that you're eating the right times, but also the right combination of foods,

Kristi Hodson: 23:11

Yeah. And add on top of that I'm a business owner. This birth, I first birth, I was working this corporate job and you just like, you know, take a break when you need it and you take vacation and maternity leave, all that. This time I'm a business owner. And then also, like I'm, I'm still breastfeeding my first child through all this, so he breastfed through the entire pregnancy and tandem fed as well. So yeah, needless to say, managing blood sugar was really hard. But I, I think that there's also when you have that big of when the stakes are that high, like the motivation comes,

Exie: 23:46

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 23:47

and when I picture this as like if I put this item in my mouth, like that could lead to. Insulin, which leads to ob, which leads to, you know, whatever, giving birth on my back the way I don't want to or something, you know. So it, it was a good motivator for me to frame it that way because that helped me make the choices I needed to make for a very long time,

Exie: 24:10

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 24:11

Throughout that. But anyway, I was able to, to manage it with the help of I I had a wonderful diabetes educator kind of caseworker that was through the U of M endocrinology department. I also worked with a local dietician who specializes in women and perinatal. And yeah, that was, it was very helpful to have a lot of support for everything that we could do against the diabetes. Anyway, so leading up to the birth, like numbers were good, numbers were good. But then we're, you know, getting toward 40 weeks due date came and went. My midwife was amazing and very hands off. She offered a membrane sweep if I wanted it, so I had two membrane sweeps. And she had a really good sense of what the, the, the things that really matter or make a difference in your care or the matter in the outcomes. And she said that the the NSTs, like I could do them if I wanted to. I could go in and get the counts and do all the data, but it, it didn't lead to any better outcomes than just managing and doing kick counts at home. And I was like, really? Like, why didn't I know this before? Like, why didn't somebody tell me this last time around? I could have avoided lots of, you know, like the stress that comes along with like, oh, is he breathing, like doing the practice breath? What is his heart rate? Is he picking up what's a fluid level? Like there's so many data points that, you know that go into all of that. It puts a lot of stress on the mom, which

Exie: 25:50

It really does. Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 25:52

it, it isn't necessarily helpful. So I was, I was so glad that she said that data proves that outcomes

Exie: 25:57

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 25:57

are just as good by doing kid counts at home. So that's what I did. She's very hands off. We did a couple of membrane sweeps and then it got down to the point of you know, like, all right, it it, it needs to happen this week. Like, do we need to put an induction appointment on the calendar? I. And I was really, really worried about getting the same midwife that I'd had the first time in the hospital. The one that had said, the one that had said the, the, for the first delivery that, that said she's not even in active labor yet. She's still talking. I was like, I, I don't think I can have her again.

Exie: 26:33

no, yeah, absolutely. I totally get that.

Kristi Hodson: 26:36

Yep. So I'm like, what happens if she happens to be on staff the day that I spontaneously come into labor? But it didn't, you know, spontaneous labor wasn't happening and we're just kind of like waiting around. And my midwife for my second birth, her name is Sam Sharp. She is phenomenal.

Exie: 26:53

Did

Kristi Hodson: 26:53

she.

Exie: 26:54

a conversation with her about what might happen if that other midwife was

Kristi Hodson: 27:01

Well, the conversation, pregnancy hormones and emotions. Right? But the conversation went like this. If she's there, I'm gonna leave and have a baby in the car, which is not true. I would not have had a baby in the car, but that's how I felt, right? And she was like,

Exie: 27:21

They got your point through.

Kristi Hodson: 27:23

yes, yes, yes. So I, it, it came down to like, I really trusted Sam and I was like, oh, Sam has gotta be there for the delivery of this baby. And like, we were looking at the schedule that week and I'm like weighing, you know, am I gonna go into spontaneous labor? I don't know when my body goes into spontaneous labor, because I didn't get to do that the first time around.

Exie: 27:42

Right.

Kristi Hodson: 27:43

And I was, you know, doing all the things like we were doing, like lots of walking, I had been incorporating dates and red raspberry leaf tea and like, all the things you're supposed to do right? And still wasn't happening. So we looked at the calendar and Sam was gonna be on on the schedule from 7:00 AM to 7:00 PM on Wednesday the 20th. And I had my appointment with her the day before on the 19th. And she was like, do you want to, do you wanna wait? Do you wanna schedule something? Like, what, what feels right? They're going to want to schedule you by 41 weeks, which would've been Saturday. And so I'm like sitting there again weighing do I, you know, roll the dice and wait and hope and then get induced by a midwife that I don't know and trust or do I. Again, schedule an induction and maybe roll the dice and give up the birth that I want, like I ended up doing last time and be hooked up. And, you know, like it's just, it was a bad, it felt like a lose lose, but at least I'd have somebody in my corner that I'd spent this whole pregnancy with and who I trust it and would be very minimal in interventions. We talked about, about the way that we would induce and I said, I don't want Pitocin this time. And she said that she would recommend, you know, breaking my water based on where I was and what she, she did the cervical check and the membrane sweep. She's like, you know, I think that this is your second baby. If you break your water, I think your body is just gonna kick in and do what it knows how to do and have this baby and you're not gonna need any Pitocin. And I'm like. All right. I mean, I trust you. Like let, that's like, let's have this baby together. Right? So I saw her Tuesday the 19th at like 10:00 AM or whatever, and settled it. We have an induction appointment for 8:00 AM on the 20th of November. And I went home and I like, talked to my mom and my partner about it and I was like, I really wanted to go into spontaneous labor, but at least I get to have this really cool midwife

Exie: 29:53

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 29:55

you know, it is what it is. We're gonna have a healthy baby. And so we spent that night kind of like getting ready and enjoying our last night as a family of three. And I remember I, I took a bath with my son in our big like jetted tub and we're just like sitting there playing together. I'm like, this is his last night as an only child. And he nursed in the tub and it was just like all of the feelings, you know, that. Remembering his birth and like

Exie: 30:22

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 30:23

it was the best day of my life, but also then, you know, felt a little bit not what I wanted and I didn't feel like I was in control and I didn't feel powerful. And I wish it could have been different. And so it was just a feeling, all those feelings. And we went to bed at 10 30 and I gotta set the alarm, gotta be up in to the hospital at 8:00 AM And three hours later I woke up and I was like, huh, was that a contraction? I was like, ah, it probably wasn't like, it was probably just Braxton Hicks or, you know, you talk yourself out of it.

Exie: 30:59

Right.

Kristi Hodson: 30:59

like, it was laying in bed and I was like, huh. Yeah, I think that's, that's a contraction. And then I, I, it just slowly kind of, I. Build up. And I'm like, you know, I, I feel like I need to just get up and do something. So my, my little 3-year-old sleeping next to me in bed and my partner's on the other side, I just like got up and went downstairs and it was kind of a cool time to just be by myself. And I was like bouncing on the birth ball and walking around and putting the last little things in our bag. And somewhere in there I put in my AirPods and I started listening to like really relaxing music and showing my age. But man, like Enya, like I love Enya,

Exie: 31:46

Absolutely.

Kristi Hodson: 31:47

so I put like Pandora Enya and, and I was like, every time I would, you know, have a contraction, I'd just like focus on the music and just like, relax through it. And it was like, no big deal. I was like, huh. I was like that. You know, it'll probably be while, but at least at the very beginning of labor, right. And so maybe an hour of that. Yeah, probably an hour of that. And I was like, you know what? I wonder if I should start timing these. Like, I guess at some point you start timing. Is this something that we like, need to go in for? And so I started timing them and they're like, they were very regular. They were like a minute long, think about five, four or five minutes apart. And I was like, but it doesn't feel that bad yet because in my brain all that I had experienced was Pitocin contractions.

Exie: 32:39

Right.

Kristi Hodson: 32:40

And when I experienced these very real contractions, I just was like, get bad at some point. Right? So. And so I kept timing them. Kept like, I, I ate, I ate like I, I need to get some good snacks in me. Like I had cashews and I don't remember what else I ate, but I was like protein focused and like, gotta get ready for this marathon that we're doing together.

Exie: 33:06

Right.

Kristi Hodson: 33:07

And I, at some point I realized like they're, they're like, you know, three minutes apart, I think, I think a better Wake Dave up and it was 3:00 AM and so I've been like an hour and a half of contractions that went from like, is that a contraction to like, I'm, I'm definitely timing these and like focusing on the music and Yeah, I think we better go. And I woke him up and I said, we've gotta go to the hospital. He's like, why?'cause he is thinking, you know, our appointment's at eight, like it's three.

Exie: 33:38

Right.

Kristi Hodson: 33:39

I'm in labor. And so we, he got up and we started getting ready. The plan, the plan, you know, you have a plan. The plan was that my mom would take my three-year-old to my aunt's house and then we'd all converge at the hospital at eight and have this birth together. But what really happened was at three, Dave and I left for the hospital and she let him sleep thinking okay, and when he wakes up, we'll drop him off and then I'll go to the hospital and be there for the birth. So I we got to the hospital at four, driving in. I live in Canton on the very west side. So driving down Gettys Road, which has lots of trees and fields like, I think we saw 20 deer on the way to the hospital.

Exie: 34:27

And that's a, that's a ha for people who are listening who are not in Michigan, that can be a hazardous drive.

Kristi Hodson: 34:34

Yes. Yeah. So if you hit a deer, you're, you're stopped and you're like, your, your car is erected. It's, you know, this giant animal that, you know, does a lot of damage and they can just jump out. So you might be driving,

Exie: 34:48

both ways,

Kristi Hodson: 34:49

they're not looking both ways and, and it's something you don't really have to worry about in the daytime, but in the dusk and in the night hours and in the early morning, they can jump out and you gotta stop really fast or you're gonna just hit the deer. So we're driving in and see like 20 different deer along this route. And this road is bumpy also in Michigan, we have a lot of potholes and bumps, and I'm like, Dave, don't hit any bumps. And he is like, we're in Michigan. You're, I am sorry, but we're gonna hit. But what I'm looking back at, I was like, wow. I, labor was really progressing and by the time that we got to the hospital and went to triage they checked me and I was a five. So they're like, yeah, you're having this baby today. Like we're, I was like, oh, we, we we're good to stay. And so I told them that, you know, the birth that I wanted and that I really wanted to be in the tub. Is there a tub room available? Because you don't always know if there's one available. So they got one ready for me while I was in triage. And I don't know how long the walk is from triage to that room,

Exie: 35:51

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 35:52

it felt like two miles because every contraction I had to like, you know, just stop and like listen to my music and focus. And it was just a minute long. That's all just focus. And then boop, I'd be like, okay, I'll, I'll talk again and we can walk and like make our way there and contraction and I'd. And stop and focus. So I'm like doing this all the way to the tub room.

Exie: 36:13

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 36:13

filled the tub and then just kind of left us on our own, which is really nice. And I'm thinking, oh, it's probably a few hours before I need to get in the tub because these contractions aren't not bad. Like, it's not what I experienced last time. I know what a contraction right before birth feels like. Right. Contractions. And so we got set up with some lavender. They, they put a fan with lavender essential oil and like aromatherapy and got the music on the speaker. So I was again, listening to Enya and Yanni and like just really beautiful calming music that I love. And I was like, you know, it's gonna be a while, but I might as well get in the tub because it looks so good. Like that looks, that water looks really nice. And I got in. I was like, huh. Oh, this, these are just focusing just a minute at a time. It, it wasn't like the Pitocin contractions that were just on top. It was like this rolling, like permanent contraction, like with barely any break. And this non Pitocin contraction we're just like, okay, I just need to focus for a minute and then I can talk. Obviously they get more intense and you know, I was, I was like, Dave, you might need to tell me some stories. But the, the nurse and the midwife just kind of like left us alone. We were, we were in there and I was like, I feel like I need to poop. I'm like, Dave, like. What am I gonna do? And am I gonna poop in this tub? Am I gonna have this baby on the toilet? Like, what? What's gonna happen? And so I got out and I was like, I'm gonna, I'm gonna try to poop and then get back in the tub. And I sat down on the toilet. I was like, Nope, I, this baby's gonna come. I gotta get back in that tub right now.

Exie: 37:53

Huh.

Kristi Hodson: 37:54

I got back in and like, nobody's there. Dave's there, but there's no midwife, there's no nurse.

Exie: 38:00

call the nurses button

Kristi Hodson: 38:01

like,

Exie: 38:01

anything.

Kristi Hodson: 38:02

I think you need to call the nurse. So neither of us in this state thought about there being the call button in the bathroom with the tub.

Exie: 38:11

yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 38:12

He went out to the room to find, to find the phone and call somebody. And meanwhile, I'm like, oh my goodness, this baby's gonna come. And now I'm really by myself. I'm like, Nope, nope, nope. Because there's a little bit of panic like, what, what? Why isn't anybody here? And I'm like saying, help, help. And I opened my eyes and there were about 10 people in the room because if you hear somebody yelling help. And then I think he also called hit the call button. Like, they're like, oh, we got what you don't know what you're walking into. And I opened my eyes and said, not that much help. I didn't realize like five alarms. So there was so many people in the room like, okay, so it was just my nurse and my midwife again. And they just kind of stayed on opposite sides of the room and said really encouraging things to me and it's so amazing the power of words. From my first birth to the second birth and the different outcomes that those had.

Exie: 39:09

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 39:09

by telling me they, they didn't tell me directly, but by saying it to somebody else and me overhearing, she's not even in active labor yet, she's still talking. And the effect that that had on that birth versus the second birth where the midwife said, you know, you're safe,

Exie: 39:26

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 39:26

you're doing a great job. Like the, it was just encouraging things.

Exie: 39:31

Yes.

Kristi Hodson: 39:31

And the nurse would say, you know, just relax, you know, and like, you can sway your hips. But neither of them had any hands on and it, like, they didn't, you know it wasn't like birth was being done to me like I was doing it. It was a very, a huge shift. And, you know, like the, the. Contractions at the very end are a lot more powerful, but they were nothing, nothing compared to the the Pitocin contractions.

Exie: 40:00

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 40:02

and so like I felt my body start pushing. And it was interesting. I had listened to a birth podcast like in the week before about like positioning and all of that, and your body will just kind of figure out what position it wants to be in. And at certain stages of labor it wants to be standing. And that's when I was at home. I would just like kinda lean against my countertop. And when I was walking down the hall to my room, I was just leaning against the wall. But when I was in that tub, I was like, no, I need to be squatting. I was just like, everybody knows what position to be in and I could feel my body pushing. And like I reached down and I'll never forget what it felt like to feel my baby's head finally coming out like it was. So cool. And I remember like thinking, wow, it kind of feels like jelly, but like that's my baby's head. Like, this is what, I didn't get that with my first, I didn't ever really get to like, feel and be part of the process. In my first, it was just like laying down on my side and somebody else's kind of watching and taking over. But in the tub I'm like reaching down. I'm like, and even now, every single time I'm like holding my baby in it. Like if I happen to put my hand on, like on her bald little head, it takes me back to that moment in time and like feeling it for the first time. It was so cool and it was, I don't know, like maybe two or three pushes. I something I, I don't know, you just kind of like go into that labor land space, and. She was out and I caught her, myself in the tub. Everybody, it was wa, Dave and the nurse and the midwife were watching, but they were hands off

Exie: 41:47

yeah,

Kristi Hodson: 41:47

caught this baby and I looked at her and I just thought we did this like her and me and nobody else. It was just the two of us together

Exie: 42:00

Oh,

Kristi Hodson: 42:01

like the power that I felt in that moment. I have never felt more empowered in my life. And I, you know, as a woman that has done a lot of really cool and important and powerful things. Like the most, most powerful thing was delivering and catching that baby and like looking at her and realizing that we didn't need, you know we didn't need the intervention of anybody else. Like it was there for, we needed it, but like we actually got to do it together ourselves. And she looked at me like, I'll, it was just, I just didn't wanna get out of the tub. And eventually they were like, she's gonna get cold. You need to get out. She said it way nicer than that. But, you know, like it just being in that moment I wasn't just experiencing that birth,

Exie: 42:48

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 42:49

I was experiencing, like, healing from the first birth and like the decisions that got taken away from me and the, the things that were said that like, made me just feel really down, like all that kind of just got cleaned up and healed and like, I just didn't realize that birth could be so healing when, when it's empowering that way. So I'm so thankful that we had such a different experience the second time around and physically it was so much easier on me for recovery. And you think of like, oh, it's just one, one day. Like, you know? Yeah. If you, if you have Pitocin, it's just rough that day, but the type of birth that you have when you experience those interventions, you know, I had the secondary tearing and I had a lot of pelvic floor physical therapy to do, and recovery took, you know, months and with the second birth, like there was, there was no blood in the tub. Like when they checked me, they said, there's no skid marks. There's not even a scratch or, or not, there's nothing like, she just, you know, when you do it yourself and like, if your baby's kind of optimally positioned, thank you to Dr. Rubina at the joint for Webster Chiropractic, like, she just helped me out that way. Perfectly positioned, slid out easily. Like the recovery is way different. You know, like when you, when you. Keep all the blood that you're supposed to and don't lose like 700 milliliters.

Exie: 44:24

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 44:25

it's a lot easier to bounce back with your energy and you know, I think that there's like a lot of anxiety and depression and like difficult things that you experience when you go through a birth that has a little bit too much intervention. So having all of that removed the second time around, like, I was like, I wish I could give birth a million times if it was just like this. I'm 41. That's not happening. But I just love how empowering it felt.

Exie: 44:56

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 44:57

it was a goal that I'd had for literally years, ever since I saw that video in Cynthia's class.

Exie: 45:05

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 45:05

And we did it and we accomplished it. And you know it's a moment I will never forget.

Exie: 45:12

What a beautiful story. Oh my goodness. I, I have so many things running in my mind right now.

Kristi Hodson: 45:20

Share, do share.

Exie: 45:22

First off so I have another podcast episode that Ciana and I did. called Partners are the MVPs of the birth room.

Kristi Hodson: 45:30

Oh,

Exie: 45:31

And you're, it sounds like your partner, Dave, totally fit that bill.

Kristi Hodson: 45:35

yes.

Exie: 45:36

the reason why we say that, because even as a doula with all of the education and experience and, you know, having attended a whole over a hundred births a hundred over 135 now for me we still are not the ones who know the birthing person best. You know, I would never think to make up stories to tell. I have done visualization with a client before, but I would never think to make this long, beautiful story and the connections, the emotional connection. And that's the thing is birth partners have usually such a strong emotional connection. And you mentioned, you know, Pitocin, that's the other thing that's flying through my mind. You know, research, I wanna say that it was Dr. Sarah Wickham that I, I read, I'd have to, I'll have to find. information and, and drop it in the show notes. But basically and if it's not her, it's some other great mind in the birthing world. Basically what this research showed is that the oxytocin receptors on your uterus don't really differentiate between synthetic pitocin and oxytocin. Pitocin is just a synthetic version of what your body already creates. The biggest difference comes in the blood brain barrier, the Pitocin molecules are too big to pass through the blood ba brain barrier. And so that means that your brain perceives those contractions differently because it's not being, it's not responding by kicking out more pain relieving hormones.

Kristi Hodson: 47:09

Wow. Yeah, I experienced that. That makes a lot of sense.

Exie: 47:15

Yeah. And that's what I was thinking when you're telling me that I'm, I, I was just like, yeah, your body was doing everything. It just, your, your, it's your, your oxytocin receptors were dragging more Pitocin molecules than they were oxytocin molecules, it sounds like. And that was just not enough of your own po, you know, pain relieving hormones. But then also one of my biggest things, and, and I made this switch quite a while ago in my approach. Of support. And we've talked about it in the past on this, well, on the previous iteration of this podcast, I'm gonna keep referring to it because it was such a big, I mean, it was four years of my life,

Kristi Hodson: 47:54

No.

Exie: 47:54

that we were co-hosting together. But we talk a a lot about trauma-informed care, and that's something that is kind of like almost a buzzword right now. But what you said about hearing something, and this is the thing, and I, I've seen this so many times where either the person giving birth or their partner will overhear something that the nurse or the provider says, and it may not even have anything to do with that person. It might have to do with a patient in a different room, but automatically you start filling in the gaps and you, you start wondering, is this about me? they don't realize how much you hear. And like you said, you, you look like you were. Inwardly focused, but that stuff still penetrates and has a huge impact. And that's what the research shows is that the, the difference between birth people who have or report traumatic birth experiences as opposed to those who report positive experiences, it's not entirely about the interventions. A main component of that is the interpersonal relationships they have with their providers. And

Kristi Hodson: 49:07

Hmm.

Exie: 49:07

that midwife really let you down by saying that within earshot of you, whether she really believed that or not, she could have said it in another place and protected your space.

Kristi Hodson: 49:21

Yes. Yes. Because that was the, the pivotal moment that changed the outcome of my birth was like saying something that then made me doubt that I could do it.

Exie: 49:35

Right.

Kristi Hodson: 49:35

And then I just kind of like surrender to the interventions instead of surrendering to this birth that was occurring, you know, so.

Exie: 49:43

Yeah. And it's not even always the provider. Sometimes it's the family members that are in the room. Like maybe they're talking amongst themselves. Maybe they're saying things that the birthing person is now hearing and taking on

Kristi Hodson: 49:58

Yeah.

Exie: 49:59

So it's, it just, you, you, you said something about language. Really remember. My head is swimming with so much'cause you had so many incredible things. but language matters. Language matters. And the way that we frame things and the way that we say things around, around a pregnant person throughout their pregnancy, but especially in that extra inherently vulnerable time of the birth space,

Kristi Hodson: 50:23

Mm-hmm.

Exie: 50:24

words that we feel might be innocuous, can be profoundly impactful

Kristi Hodson: 50:30

Mm-hmm.

Exie: 50:31

giving birth. And like you said, it translates into their postpartum recovery and then their family.

Kristi Hodson: 50:38

Right. And, and conversely just something as simple as saying you're safe,

Exie: 50:44

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 50:44

like. Like I could feel myself relax when I heard those words. And you know, like that just might be just something that comes out of her mouth and it's no big deal and it's just an everyday thing.'cause she's delivering babies every day. But like that, you know, the impact of really helpful words is strong too.

Exie: 51:02

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. So I feel like your, both of your stories, when we first started, you know, initially, I love the organic feel of these conversations because initially we were talking, we were gonna just focus on your daughter's birth.

Kristi Hodson: 51:19

Yeah.

Exie: 51:20

you can, like you said, you, your daughter's birth was linked to her older sibling's birth, her older brother's birth because you. Were impacted on such a deep level

Kristi Hodson: 51:38

Mm-hmm.

Exie: 51:38

this, this is the other thing textbook wise, if we just were to look at your son's birth from an objective point of view, was a textbook, totally perfect

Kristi Hodson: 51:51

Yep.

Exie: 51:51

ab, probably ideal induction,

Kristi Hodson: 51:54

Yep. It was

Exie: 51:55

but from your perspective, it was mom, healthy baby, but not a positive experience,

Kristi Hodson: 52:05

right.

Exie: 52:05

positive as it could have been.

Kristi Hodson: 52:07

Yeah. Yep. Absolutely. And I, and I hate feeling like I'm complaining about that birth because I see it in the context of there are so many worse, but like, it still matters and it still, you know, does have an element of trauma,

Exie: 52:25

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 52:26

even if it's not at the scale that some people experience. Right. But when I've, when I've experienced both of those, like I can truly appreciate the second.

Exie: 52:35

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 52:36

After having the first experience because it was so wildly different.

Exie: 52:40

Yeah. And it just, you know, there's a couple of things even in just what you said. First off, many, so we only give birth an, you know, a small number of times in our lives. On average, we are only giving birth like maybe three times in our lives. Most people do not have more than three kids, and if they do, they certainly do not go for a half dozen or even a dozen. So it's a finite number of experiences that we have giving birth. And so each one is important and each one does matter, and each one does imprint on us. If you were to talk to your mom, an older person, older than your mom. I bet they could share their birth story with you because it, it just gets in our core, it changes us as women. We are also birthed in that moment. so what happens in that experience also impacts us. What was the other thing you had just, I almost wanna like hit the rewind button. Have you say it again. You have such amazing sayings.

Kristi Hodson: 53:51

I dunno what it was. It's gone. I'm, I'm four months postpartum, like my brain is Swiss cheese. Sorry, I don't remember those.

Exie: 53:58

I'm 26 years postpartum and my brain is still Swiss cheese, but Yeah. It, you're, you're, oh, I know what it was. Yeah, and, and it, we, we have a really bad habit I think of just societally wise kind of comparing. You know, even grief, I, I read recently I read recently an article or it was just a, it was a short article where somebody was grieving the loss of their sibling and their boss at work came up to them and said, you know, your attitude really sucks lately. And this person explained what had happened. It had only been a few months. And the boss said, well, I lost my grandparents the same time. And this person was kind of like, well, I'm sorry that you lost your grandparents, but I feel like a sibling loss is just a little bit different. He's like, oh, so are you comparing grief now? My grief doesn't mean as much. have a bad habit of doing that in our society. Right. Of trying to like compare and one up and all of that, and. When it comes to birth, especially first birth, what I really try to get everybody to understand is we make the best decisions that we can with the information we have at the time. And sometimes pregnancy throws us curve balls that come completely out of left field. You had a completely healthy lifestyle, you never had a blood sugar problem a day in your life, and then all of a sudden pregnancy brings it on it changes the trajectory of how things go. And so you're almost playing catch up. Like, now I have to learn all of this and how it's gonna change things and what are the benefits and risks of all of these other things that might happen. And it's a lot.

Kristi Hodson: 55:47

true. It's true. Yeah. I feel like there's a lot to learn anyways when you're pregnant. Like it, you know, down to like, what can I eat and not eat? And, you know, what should be happening now. But the added layer of any complications health wise, like gestational diabetes or I know that some people deal with like blood pressure. Thankfully my blood pressure is always perfect. But,

Exie: 56:10

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 56:11

that just adds another element of a lot, a big learning curve in a very short amount of time.

Exie: 56:16

Right, right. Yeah, absolutely. One question I had when you, when you were talking about reaching down and touching your daughter's head, and it felt like jelly was her bag intact or had her water broke sometime before that.

Kristi Hodson: 56:30

So they had asked me, did you ever feel like a ping, like your water broke? And I'd never felt that. So I think the bag was intact and it burst like when her head was coming out. Yeah, it was cool. Yeah.

Exie: 56:41

that is. So, and, and the fact that you were the first person to touch her also, what, what an absolutely spectacular memory for both of you to have.

Kristi Hodson: 56:52

Yeah. I, there's nothing like it. I wish I could have caught Graham as what my, my son as well, but like, catching your own baby is like a very intimate powerful like unforgettable moment.

Exie: 57:07

Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Amazing. All right, so I'm gonna throw, throw a question at you,

Kristi Hodson: 57:13

Yeah. Go for it.

Exie: 57:15

somebody that you care about, or it doesn't even have to be someone you care about, someone you remotely know, a little bit, comes to you and says, tell me the top three things I need to know before I have my baby.

Kristi Hodson: 57:29

Cool. Hmm. Top three things. I think you need to know people that you can rely on, and I'm gonna say that's like pregnancy, birth, postpartum. And there are, we just don't have the villages that we used to. And you know, if you, if you're going in planning on, a natural birth and you're planning on breastfeeding and you don't have, you know, a mom that experienced those that can share those I thankfully did. But if you don't have that, that becomes a barrier because you're trying to figure it out at the mercy of whatever provider you're dealing with. And I think that postpartum, you know, it's easy to just get outta the hospital and go home and then you kinda like left to figure it out. My mom stayed with us for a couple of weeks, both times, and the first time around I remember she would, you know, gently reposition my baby so that he wasn't like craning his neck trying to breastfeed. She was a little late two league leader for years and so she was like, it was like built in breastfeeding support for the couple first couple weeks of my motherhood, which was amazing.

Exie: 58:36

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 58:36

So seek out those people. If it's not somebody that's related to you, it's somebody in your community, whether that's a, a, a doula. We, we have a postpartum doula this time around that we didn't do the first time. Or whether that's like lactation consultants or a related league. Like just figure out the people and they'll help you figure out the solutions to the problems. That'd be one big thing. Number two would be just to really trust in your body and your intuition. And yes, there's all this studies, there's all these data points, there's all this information overload that you can take in, but not one of those studies are about you and your body. And you know, like there's I feel like in this country, especially we, I. Teach women not to trust themselves and not to trust their bodies and to almost teach their, like, treat their bodies like an enemy rather than

Exie: 59:32

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 59:32

like, we're on the, we're on the same team here. And trusting that you can do it and following through and the power that you feel after that is really, really important. And number three is to have a clear goal in mind. You know, unlike what that first nurse said to me, like, everybody has used birth plans and dreams and it just doesn't work out. I don't, I don't believe that like it can, and sometimes having that goal in mind and like get an idea, like listen to some really great birth stories and watch really great birth videos and like get it in your mind that this is what I want and it makes the hard parts a lot easier. So.

Exie: 1:00:16

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 1:00:16

You know, this picture in my brain of this tub birth got me through 30 weeks of counting every single carb and planning out every single meal with a three-year-old at home.

Exie: 1:00:27

Right.

Kristi Hodson: 1:00:28

you know, and I think that it can get you through a contraction. Having that end goal in mind or whatever hardship you have to face, like if that's the end goal, you know, the, the first weeks of breastfeeding that are hard,

Exie: 1:00:42

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 1:00:42

You have this goal in mind, like that kind of helps make the harder parts happen still, or, or makes the harder parts easier, I guess. Yeah.

Exie: 1:00:52

Yeah. Beautiful. I love it. And the other thing that I also want to really commend you on with your statement about goals is that you were flexible. You understood that. Even though we have plans, sometimes we need to make adjustments. And I always try and tell my clients we can control a lot of things, right? We can control the environment to a certain degree, make it all warm and cozy in there. Potentially we can control, you know, our partners presence, whether they're there or not. You know, we can even control the power of the contractions with things like Pitocin. The one single thing we cannot control is the passenger,

Kristi Hodson: 1:01:31

It's true.

Exie: 1:01:32

and sometimes the passenger goes along so we can achieve our goal without a problem. And sometimes the passenger's like, Nope, I love your mom, but that's just not happening.

Kristi Hodson: 1:01:45

I think my little passengers that were so cooperative, both of them.

Exie: 1:01:50

Yeah,

Kristi Hodson: 1:01:52

That's very true. Yeah. Yeah. Just because you want something or you have it in mind, you, you're, you're exactly right. Birth does throw you, you know, a curve ball that you can't always control That little,

Exie: 1:02:02

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 1:02:02

that little sweet passenger.

Exie: 1:02:04

Yeah. So just having a little bit of room for some flexibility, which it sounds like you did even,

Kristi Hodson: 1:02:10

Yeah,

Exie: 1:02:10

when it came to your second birth, your plan was to get induced. So when she decided to go into labor a few hours ahead of time, you were like, okay, I, because you could have just dug your heels and said, it's not happening. I'm ignoring everything, and I'm just gonna wait till my eight o'clock appointment.

Kristi Hodson: 1:02:27

I was so thankful that that didn't happen. It was just like, it was such a blessing that things got moving and I didn't have to go down the road of induction again. The, the one sad little part and I, I guess I didn't share like the timeline here, but one little sad little part that I would've changed is she came so quickly that my midwife that was on at 7:00 AM missed the birth by about 20 minutes.

Exie: 1:02:57

Oh,

Kristi Hodson: 1:02:58

So the one that I'd like seen for all my prenatal, the prenatal, the prenatal care, the reason that I was like, okay, I'm gonna get induced with Sam. She was on at 7:00 AM and my baby was born at like six twenty one. And my mom also didn't make it to the hospital'cause my little boy was sleeping and she was like, oh, we've got, we've got plenty of time. We'll make it to the hospital. And so she didn't get to be there for the birth. I wish those two could have been there, but,

Exie: 1:03:21

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 1:03:22

yeah, like I arrived at the hospital at 4:00 AM and had a baby in my arms at 6 21.

Exie: 1:03:28

Wow. Wow. That's, that is truly, truly a remarkable story. And so your four months postpartum, you

Kristi Hodson: 1:03:35

Yes, yes. Yep.

Exie: 1:03:37

how are things going?

Kristi Hodson: 1:03:39

Way better than I expected. And again, I think it's you see where wherever you are postpartum through the lens, it's hard not to compare but through the lens of what you experienced the first time. And you know, the first time the physical recovery was really hard. I was on maternity leave from a corporate job, but I was like, you know, it was a full-time job doing all these appointments, right? And doing the physical therapy exercises and you know, it's just a, a long recovery. And then on top of that, the mental recovery. So like I experienced a lot of postpartum anxiety the first time around. And I joined a wonderful support group with Rise Wellness Collaborative. It was a free support group for new moms, and we just, you know, like shared our experiences and gave support I dunno how I would've made it through the anxiety without that group. But I remember different points where you know, carrying my baby from our room to the nursery and the night to feed or change diapers or whatever, and like walking across the balcony or like upstairs walking by the balcony and just like. Holding this newborn thinking he's just gonna fling himself over the edge. Like,

Exie: 1:04:48

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 1:04:48

you know, you like, just have all these intrusive thoughts. And you know, I, I lived a lot of my life with fear like that, anxiety of, of postpartum. And this time around it's not there at all. And I don't know if that's because of being a second time mom and like, it, it feels different.

Exie: 1:05:11

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 1:05:11

know if that's a different birth that I went through and I didn't have. You know, as traumatic of an experience as I did the first time around, or, you know, just maybe my, my brain chemistry is different. The support is different. I, I don't know what it is, but I, I don't have it. And that has made it so that I can get back to just like, enjoying my life as a mom of two. You know, jumping into, again, being a business owner. I designed kitchens of bathrooms and at three weeks postpartum, I went out on a cabinet delivery where we were like, you know, delivering cabinets. And I brought my three, three week old with me. She was in a little baby carrier and it was just like, it just felt like she like slid into our lives and we just kept going on rather than. This like monumental first birth where you're just kind of like time stand still and

Exie: 1:06:01

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 1:06:02

trying to recover and there's so much going on mentally and it was just so much smoother this time around. So we're doing really well four months postpartum. She's getting her second tooth. Four months, had her first three and a half.

Exie: 1:06:16

she is early, isn't she?

Kristi Hodson: 1:06:21

I don't know. We'll see. We'll see what happens, but so of course, you know, like we're going through teething right now and, you know, sleep changes at four months and there's something we're doing differently this time around is co-sleeping from day one rather than waiting for two months like we did the first time around. And I feel like that's been a huge positive impact on my mental health as well. So,

Exie: 1:06:41

Yeah. Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 1:06:42

yeah.

Exie: 1:06:43

is probably one of the main components of mental health wellness is making sure that you have that good anchored sleep of, you know, to four hours where you're able to like go through your sleep cycles. That has a huge impact on your ability to handle the mental and emotional load of the day.

Kristi Hodson: 1:07:05

Yes.

Exie: 1:07:06

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 1:07:07

what I didn't know before was you know, some babies aren't gonna sleep for four hours in a bassinet. They just don't, they're not wired that way. That's not their biology to wanna be away from mom.

Exie: 1:07:18

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 1:07:18

And so I followed all the rules that you're supposed to and put him in the bassinet by himself on his back, and he'd sleep for like maybe 20 minutes. And I was getting these just teeny tiny little. Blinks of asleep. And I remember one night thinking I could hold two hours at a time. Like this is amazing. So the first couple of months were a big struggle the first time around because he just didn't sleep without me. I read a couple of books. I read Safe Infant Sleep by Dr. James McKenna

Exie: 1:07:49

Mm-hmm.

Kristi Hodson: 1:07:49

read Sweet Sleep by Lache League. They're both wonderful. And they helped me understand like the data and the research and they helped me understand like my instincts and I learned how to like safely prepare my bed and like safely co-sleep with my baby and breastfeed all night long. And you can actually breastfeed a baby like three or four times in a night and have a really good night of sleep if

Exie: 1:08:13

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 1:08:14

reason if you're not getting out of bed and, you know, walking to the nursery and avoiding the balcony and you're just there in bed together. I, doing that from day one has probably made a really big impact for me as well.

Exie: 1:08:27

Yeah. Yeah. And there are some cultures, mine included being Asian, where it is abnormal to put your baby in a different room to sleep.

Kristi Hodson: 1:08:35

Right.

Exie: 1:08:36

is not what is culturally. It's not the cultural tradition, it's not the core of our beliefs. So I think the A.A.P. the American Academy of Pediatrics is recognizing that even westernized families who are breastfeeding do end up just, it happens. You bring that baby into the bed with you. So it's, it's really good that you did your research ahead of time. It's commendable. And I'm going, you, you've dropped so many resources. The one that we, I, I didn't get a name for was your pelvic floor therapy. Who was that with?

Kristi Hodson: 1:09:11

Oh. The pelvic floor therapy I did probability sorry. Words are like, what was it? Probability, Trinity Health. I went to the one in Ypsilanti the first time around and the one in Canton the second time around. They're all fantastic.

Exie: 1:09:26

Okay. I

Kristi Hodson: 1:09:27

but

Exie: 1:09:27

be able to drop those links

Kristi Hodson: 1:09:29

yeah.

Exie: 1:09:30

notes, all of the little nuggets of information. You have so many nuggets that I hope our listeners will pull from whatever resonates with them, because you really brought a lot to the table today, and I'm so grateful for that. It's, it's truly been an honor to hear both of your birth stories

Kristi Hodson: 1:09:46

Thank you.

Exie: 1:09:47

ways your babies came into the, I love, I, I just, I, I think in pictures and I just picture, I don't know what Dave looks like, but I just picture this, you know, in a nice darkened bathroom, this man shape telling you stories as you're laboring in the tub. It's just, yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 1:10:05

It was really beautiful and I, I forgot to share this as well the second time around. He is an amateur photographer and like has a, a nice camera and loves to take like, artistic photos when we're out hiking or of our kids or whatever. And since my mom wasn't gonna be there when we're on the way to the hospital, I'm like, Dave, you gotta take some pictures of this'cause

Exie: 1:10:24

Yeah.

Kristi Hodson: 1:10:24

like, my mom's not gonna be there. And he pulled through so many ways. I'll, I'll share, I'll share one or two that you're welcome to share with this podcast. But having him the with the stories, the support the photos, like I look back and those are like my favorite photos of myself, of my whole life. So

Exie: 1:10:45

I

Kristi Hodson: 1:10:46

really just really special to have that support. Yeah.

Exie: 1:10:48

I love that. I love that. And so I'm, I'm so grateful too that you accepted my to be on video as well. So we're gonna take this podcast, the video component, we're gonna add it to the playlist on my YouTube page, and that way our listeners will be able,'cause wanna be able to provide some more information behind like your, the gestational diabetes and Pitocin and all of those kinds of things. So we'll have some visual aids for people to kind of understand those things better. And if you wanted to send me a picture from your birth, I can always add that on here. So anybody who's watching the video will be able to see it. This has just been such an incredible conversation. Thank you so much for sharing your story with me and with of the listeners. I hope it's been inspiring to me and I'm not having any more children, so.

Kristi Hodson: 1:11:39

Thank you for giving me the space to share it. I mean, I think that birth is really powerful, but like, it, it's even more empowering when you get to share it and have people listen and hold space for you, and I appreciate that.

Exie: 1:11:53

Yeah, absolutely. So if anyone listening wants to connect with you, what is the best way that they can do that, either or professionally? can you share with us?

Kristi Hodson: 1:12:05

Oh yeah. So I guess the easiest way to find me is on Instagram. My business is Artistic Kitchens. It's artistic, A-R-T-I-S-T-I-C dot kitchens with an s.com. And feel free to DM me there. I have a personal one as well, but it's like more locked down so it's easier to find my business,

Exie: 1:12:24

Perfect. I'll

Kristi Hodson: 1:12:25

and there's a, there's a newborn picture of Laine on my business. If you, if you go back far enough on my Instagrams,

Exie: 1:12:30

Oh, fabulous. Yes. We'll definitely have to check that out.

Kristi Hodson: 1:12:34

yeah.

Exie: 1:12:34

The great thing

Kristi Hodson: 1:12:35

it's all good.

Exie: 1:12:35

this, I'm gonna go ahead and stop recording now.

Kristi Hodson: 1:12:37

Yeah.

Exie: 1:12:40

Thank you for spending time with me today on Metro Detroit Birth Stories. If you loved this episode, let me know. Leave a review, share it with a friend, and come connect with me on Instagram at Metro Detroit birth support. And if you have a birth story to share, I would love to hear it. Please take a moment to reach out to me, whether it was six months ago or 60 years ago, your story could be the inspiration for someone who hears it to gain the confidence they need as they embark on their own birth journey. My email is in the show notes. This podcast is produced and funded by me, and I really appreciate you listening. Until next time, take care. Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to others and remember, every birth story deserves to be told. The music you hear on Mentor Detroit birth stories has been provided by Purple Planet Music, written and performed by Chris Martin and Jeff Harvey.